


Master Bruce, Have You Thought This Through?

by FoxGamer429



Series: The Secret AU [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth is a Saint, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And does not get paid enough for Bruces shit, Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Featuring: Young Bruce and his lack of impulse control!, Fives name is Liam because I said so, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Selina is best mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26639296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGamer429/pseuds/FoxGamer429
Summary: In 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. This is noteworthy, as none of the women had been pregnant beforehand.We all know that Reginald Hargreeves found 7 of the children, turning them into superheroes while also mentally and physically abusing them, but what if he hadn'tWhat if, in a big "Fuck You" move towards Hargreeves, the person who adopted them was none other than a 20 year old Bruce Wayne?
Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Series: The Secret AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888045
Comments: 24
Kudos: 75





	1. October, 1989

**Author's Note:**

> Have I thought this through? Probably not
> 
> Did my urge to write Bruce adopting different groups of children out way my desire to finish any other works in progress that I currently haven't finished? Definitely
> 
> Also, for some reason, I have decided that this takes place in the same universe as "I Never Told You What I Do For A Living"  
> Why? IDK
> 
> So, there will probably be references to that fix in later chapters (and, consequently, references to this fix in that fic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Bruce has found the children!

In 1989, 43 women around the world unexplainably gave birth.

Now, if this sentence rings a bell, congratulations! You actually went looking for this fic!

If it doesn't, first, did you read the tags? Second, oh boy! Exposition! Yay....

This is noteworthy, as none of the women had been pregnant when the day began. As-most of-you are aware, Reginald Hargreeves went looking for these children.

He found seven of them

However, this is not the story where he raises them to be superheroes while mentally and physical abusing them.

Because, in this story, Reginald does not find them in time.

Enter 20 year old Bruce Wayne;Traumatized Orphan, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist Extrordinare

He had been aware of Hargreeves's plan. How? You may ask. I don't know, he just did

Now, you may call that a cop out, but I call it "Not having to think of a way that this fic is even possible to begin with"

Bruce had ran across the world in record time and a private jet and had acquired the seven children before they could fall into the hands of Hargreeves. Some, he was almost too late, but others; he was either just in time or extremely early

Sure, this had put off training time. But saying "Fuck You" to a rival billionaire who was also a selfish prick does that

He was also going to have to further research this anomaly. But that was another problem for another day

Right now, seven children. Each form around the world

2 from the US, 1 from France, 1 from Germany, 1 from Mexico, 1 from South Korea, and 1 from Russia

Great

Too bad Alfred didn't think so

When he met the ageing butler after this trip around the world, the latter sighed

"What did you do this time, Master Bruce?"

"I...may or may jot have adopted seven children..." Bruce cheekily smiled

Alfred raised an eyebrow "and why is that?"

"Because I don't trust Hargreeves?"

"And what does Mister Hargreeves have to do with this decision that I'm sure was purely just lack of impulse control?"

Bruce sighed "As soon as I heard about the 43 unexplainable births, I knew it had something to do with Hargreaves's 'Plan to save the world' that I found out about. And I was right, too. At a few of the places I found the children, Hargreeves was not to far behind me-he even confronted me on one of them"

"Well, I'll go set up the nursery while you rethink your life choices" Alfred went to do as he said

Bruce looked towards the seven babies in the jet

_this is going to be fun_


	2. Well, There's No Turning Back Now!

"Do the children have names, Master Bruce?"

Alfred had snapped the billionaire out of his thoughts

"Not that I know of..."

"Well, have you decided on names for them?" Bruce hadn't even thought of names. He really should have though

"Not yet" 

"Well, How about I help you?" Alfred volunteered. "I did help your late parents choose your name after all"

"And thank you for that, but I think I can do it on my own"

"Master Bruce, we both know that that is a lie"

After a brief moment of consideration on Bruce's part, the young billionaire sighed in defeat "alright. Do you have any ideas?"

"That depends on where each of the children are from. Now, are there any from the United States?"

"Yeah, two, actually; twins"

"Male, female, or both?"

"Both male"

"Well, that will be easy. Let's start" Alfred thought of names "Since most twins have matching names, would you like them to follow that tradition?"

Bruce chuckled "it would make this easier"

"Alright. How about...Luther and Liam?"

Bruce smiled "That sounds good"

Alfred also smiled "Alright. Next. Any other kids from north America?"

"Yeah, one from Mexico"

"Male or Female?"

"Male"

Alfred and Bruce started to rattle off first names until they landed on one that they both liked; Diego

This went on for a while, Bruce giving Alfred the child they where finding a name for's place of birth and gender while Alfred suggested the name

The only child they did not do this for was Ben;even though Alfred had plenty of names

The first time one of the children showed any sign of abnormality was when the kids where two. It was a simple statement, and Bruce should not have thought about it as hard as he did.

Granted, the statement came from a two year old

About his mother; who was _long_ dead

"Gran'ma Martha is really nice" Klaus had said. Bruce stopped in his tracks at this, bolt responding with a "Is she now?"

"Yeah!"

"That's great, sweety" Bruce than ran to his room. A few hours later, he just put it down as a thing kids said sometimes and went to sleep. (Granted, with his eyes open, but that still counted as sleeping, right?)

This delusion was harder to keep in his mind with how often Klaus apearantly had conversations with long dead family members and how they where either really nice or really mean

This became a staple at family meals. Occasionally, someone would wonder why they could not talk with Gran'ma Martha or Gran'pa Tom. Klaus only stuck out his tongue and continued to eat

A few months later, the next wave of wierdness came

The second child to show signs of not being normal was Liam(or, if you wanna stick to canon;Five). It was hard not to notice. Times where he appeared and disappeared from next to him at random.

One time, he appeared right in front of him

"Dad, I want Ice cream"

"How did yo-"

"I said; I want ice cream" Liam was always an elegant speaker. As soon as he got his hands on a dictionary; he was speaking like an adult in no time

It was almost as weird as this conversation

"Why don't you ask Alfred?" Liam then disappeared in a snap

_What the fu-_

This happened five more times. Each wierder than the last. From toys being thrown with extreme accuracy when the toy(and the person who threw it) was upstairs to glass being broken with a g-note from the music room to random blackouts with Allison suddenly acquiring ice cream(it's always ice cream...)

Bruce could not deny it any longer

The kids he had gotten where _weird_

good thing he was partially used to weird

<1994;Bruce has been Batman for 2 years and has had the children for 5>

"DADDY!" Bruce heard from the living room and the hidden camera in said living room that he had for security. The camera linked to a monitor in the bat cave for security

"WHAT IS IT?!" He yelled, hoping they could hear it while he was getting into his normal clothes. There had been a connecting mic and speaker also so they could communicate

"THE CIRCUS IS HERE!" Allison answered 

"Can we go?" Vanya asked

"Pleeeease?" Klaus added

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh
> 
> Oh no
> 
> OH NO
> 
> OH NO-
> 
> Also; Until I think of a genuine reason why Fives name is Five; his name is going to be Liam


	3. Bruce's Lack Of Impulse Control Strikes Again!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or-
> 
> BAHTDA DADADADADA, CIRCUS!

"Circus?" Bruce asked the seven 5 year olds

They all nodded, some more enthusiastic than others. 

"And you want to go?"

"It's only gonna be here for the weekend!" Allison whined

"Well..." Bruce thought for a moment "it has been a while since you all have gotten out..." Bruce smirked in agreement. The children jumped in joy.

"Now, you all know the rules?" The children groaned. Even though Bruce Wayne loved his children and all of their unique 'talents', it was still weird for 5 year olds to have tentacles sticking out of their chests. 

Didn't mean they had to _like_ the restrictions against their powers, though

"No throwing anything.."

"No mind control"

"No talking to strangers"

"No going out of sight"

"No touching anything"

Bruce nodded and opened the door. The bright colors of the circus tents and pop ups contrasted the dark gloomy Gotham sights surrounding them. They could hear laughter, different from the normal sounds of a bussling Gotham. 

The seven children almost went ahead to see the different sights. Soon enough, they had conned their father into getting a cone of Cotton Candy to share(even though Bruce had warned them that it was pure sugar and Alfred would probably murder every single one of them)

"L-Look!" Diego pointed towards the small family in bright red leotards. It was a family of three;A mother, A father, and who they assumed was their son. They where currently taking a picture with a young boy probably the same age as the seven "I think their taking p-pictures!"

"Obviously" Luther scoffed, resulting in Allison punching his shoulder for "being rude"

"Well, do you want to have your picture taken?" Bruce asked. A few nodded, while Liam, Ben, and Vanya just shook the it heads "Well, you three stay off to the side, but still in sight, alright?" They nodded while the others got their picture taken

"Hello" Bruce smiled toward the family. He looked toward the sign they where next to. "The Flying Graysons!" It said "My children want to have a picture with you"

"Our pleasure!" The mother beamed, taking Allison onto her lap, while Klaus was on Bruce's shoulders with Luther and Diego on not of Bruce's sides.

" _NOW, PLEASE WELCOME OUR FINALE ACT OF THE NIGHT: **THE FLYING GRAYSONS! PERFORMING A QUADRUPLE SAUMERSAULT WITHOUT THE SAFETY IF A NET!**_ " The ringleader yelled to the expecting audience. The kids clapped with excitement in their eyes(even if Liam acted as though he where to old for it)

The family that they had tooken a picture with earlier came out, though only the mother and father performed. The young child that was with them stayed behind on the podium. 

The performance was breathe taking

Quite litterally, in fact

_**"MAMA! PAPA!"** _

Bruce had seen something in the young Grayson boy. 

Of course, you known what happens from here. Bruce adopts Dick, Dick finds out he's Batman, yada yada

Good, now that we have that out of the way!

Dick had been wandering around the halls of Wayne manor after another sleepless night and nightmare about his parent's death. He was thinking about asking the family Butler, Alfred, for a glass of water, but decided against waking him up for something like THAT.

All of a sudden, he heard a younger voice from behind him

"Your parents are very nice" One of the siblings-Klaus-said. The dark-haired kid smiled, as if to reassure Dick of...something

Of course, Dick already knew his biological parents where nice.

But that didn't take away from the fact that they where _dead_


	4. Enter:Selina Kyle

<11 Month's Later>

*Ding Dong*

Liam warped to the door, which was responded with many groans and "Not fair"s from both Klaus and Dick. Liam opened the door to a tall woman with long black hair. She looked to be in her mid to late twenties, around Bruce's age.

"Hello, is your Father home?"

Bruce stopped at the doorway when he saw the woman. She had sat herself at the kitchen table and was drinking a cup of tea that Bruce was certain Alfred had offered her. 

"Selina Kyle" Bruce said breathlessly. Not because he had a crush on her(he will assure you; he does not), but because he had not been expecting her.

"Bruce Wayne" Selina said with her signature flirtatious smirk. She sat the cup down, thanking Alfred(he didn't even notice him!).

"Why are you here?" Bruce asks, not even trying to put up the illusion of Billionaire Playboy

"Why, can't I just come for tea and conversation?" 

"Knowing you; no"

Selina frowns "Well, why don't we talk In a place more..." She looked over at the 8 kids peaking from the doorway at the other end of the kitchen "... _private_ "

"Who was that?" Allison asked when Bruce came back from the Bat cave, where Selina and him had their conversation(yes, an actual conversation)

Bruce sighed "Selina Kyle" Allison gave him a look that told him that she wanted more information "An... _up and coming model"_

Allison gave him a look that told him that she didn't believe him 

Bruce sighed, giving up "Fine; she's Catwoman" 

"Oooh" Allison believed that "wait" Allison was confused "isn't she a criminal? And aren't criminals bad guys?"

"It's more complicated then that"

"How so?" Allison asked

"She's like..." Bruce thought "Robin Hood" Allison understood that

"Really???" Allison was excited. She loved Disney movies-both underrated and overrated, which was something Bruce appreciated. Robin Hood happened to be on her (overly long) list of favorites

Bruce smirked "Yep. She constantly donates what she had stolen to shelters" Allison had a huge smile on her face, which Bruce chuckled at

The Children had warmed up to Selina real quick. 

Well, most of them

Alright, only four of them

The other four...not so much

Luther didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. While this would be pretty far, that was obviously not the point. The same went for Diego, Liam and Dick.

A month went by with little to no fights about or with Selina whenever she came over. Their Dad had assured them that Selina was moderatly safe, but that didn't stop any of the more "Smart" children to be wary of her.

Smart is in quotation marks, as that was a self-given title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can someone give a ligitimate reason why Fives name would be Five(for This AU, not the show/comics)?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments have been and forever will be appreciated, thank you!


End file.
